38448

Joke of the Day

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves."

"iPhone 5s fitted with fingerprint recognition. I'll sleep easier knowing that if my phone gets stolen, they'll likely chop off my hand too."

"What do you call it when your computer gets infected with a keylogger, a rootkit and half a dozen backdoors? A free upgrade"

"No matter who you are or where you come from, all anybody wants in this life is for no one to object to their iTunes mix playing at a party."

"My sister bet me a $100 i couldn't build a car out of Spaghetti... You should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta!!!!"

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors it's just something I could really see myself doing."

"How do you find Will Smith in a blizzard? You just track the fresh prints. Sorry if its a repost I just heard it."

"Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album."

"Daddy is the government going to keep us safe from terrorists? No son, they're busy protecting us from drugs and home made clocks."

"Some parents count to 10 to get their kids to behave. I use a similar technique where I string out crime scene tape and fire up a chainsaw."