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Joke of the Day
"Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him."
Next Joke
"They put a protective casing over the Vietnam Wall. They're calling it the Maya Lin sheath."
"Old people always poke me at weddings and say ""You're next"" So I started doing the same to them at funerals"
"Saturday usually #followfriday"
"In a perfect world anyone that said they, ""literally died,"" would drop dead on the spot."
"Why is it called ""Alien vs Predator""? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it ""Some Aliens"""
"Statistics say that the typical man has sex 92 times a year... I feel that December will be amazing"
"My black friend asked me... My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said ""What the fuck man it's, 2016, you can use whatever printer you want""."
"Q: What did one tomato say to the other? A: Catch up."
"He slapped his two inches on the doctors desk. The doctor said ""What is wrong with it?"" ""It's swollen."""