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Joke of the Day

"What did the Jewish lady with Alzheimer's ask her husband? Why doesn't our daughter ever come home for Christmas?"

"Those days I only knew six words if you count muther fucker as two."

"I stand at airplane arrival gates with a ""SAMANTHA"" sign, then cry after everyone's exited until airport security brings me soup. Free soup!"

"Patchouli Why do hippies wear patchouli? So blind people can hate hippies too"

"Bartender: YOU'RE the guy that drinks from the soap dispenser in the toilets? Me: [I try to say ""NO"" but it's just lavender scented bubbles]"

"My teacher loves me - she puts kisses against all my sums."

"Shout out to politicians for keeping the word ""folks"" alive."

"Here's a joke just for reddit: How many narwhals does it take to screw in a light bulb? Bacon"

"What did the prostitute say to her customer after he finished paying? ""It was a business doing pleasure with you."""

"When a girl tells u about her favorite animal - ""I'd eat one"" is not the right response."