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Joke of the Day

"If you give a mouse a cookie.. If you give a mouse a cookie.. Why are you giving a mouse any food? That's unsanitary."

"What blood type does a man with bad spelling have? Typo"

"Do you know how many planets are in the solar system? 7, after I destroy Uranus."

"Was having a problem with one of my contact lenses. Fortunately, my wife had the solution."

"I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig....It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep."

"What did the chicken say before laying an egg? Yahoo. There goes my baby."

"*sneeze once* God bless you! *sneeze twice* God bless you. *sneeze three times* Get your shit together, Steve."

"Coldplay is like depression you can hear."

"What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite-time story."