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Joke of the Day

"The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife."

"Ben Carson: Health care is not a right. Trump: We're not gonna just let people die in the streets! Carson: Oh you're so hippocratical!"

"My favourite exercise is a mix between lunge and crunch I like to call lunch."

"60 Second Lover I think my girlfriend has fucked sixty one people before me. She calls me her sixty second lover ...."

"My children annoy me so I'm leaving everything in my will to a nap I took in 2007."

"I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don't know what's real anymore"

"What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one? CuNO3!"

"Why did Microsoft skip to windows 10? Because 7 8 9."

"I wish my lawn was emo... ...so it would cut itself"

"Your mother has terrible taste in children."