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Joke of the Day

"I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don't know what's real anymore"

"I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight."

"How do you hold a pirate rabbit? With its buccaneers! Source: Dad."

"In or On ? Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?"

"my penis so big.... it goes from A to Z on the keyboard"

"I sent my wife a card that said, ""I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THE BABIES YOU'VE MADE."""

"""Professor I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls?"" ""Well I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around."""

"If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap."

"I've missed the last 50 years of ""Doctor Who."" Can somebody quickly catch me up?"

"If someone wants something their whole life, and you make it happen after they die, that is so goddamned mean. What are you even thinking"