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Joke of the Day
"I wish my lawn was emo... ...so it would cut itself"
Next Joke
"FYI: I guess the goal of bobbing for apples is not who can drink all the water."
"I know it's illegal for me to cook my own alcohol... But still."
"currently washing my balls in the sink while humming that one black eyed peas song because tonight *IS* gonna be a good night."
"I just raped my hi hat White tssst scum"
"Not now ex-boyfriend. Someone favorited 2 of my tweets. I'm a huge deal around there now & you lost your chance. Just kidding. What time?"
"Anyone else notice how Barney the Dinosaur is basically a T-rex & parents had no qualms about leaving their children with an apex predator?"
"How many zen buddists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One and not one."
"My younger brother told me this. Why don't crabs give to charity? Because they are shellfish"
"Why are the Mexicans building a wall? To keep Donald trump out of mexico"