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Joke of the Day

"I went to a sandwich shop, but they screwed up my order Oh wait, I've got the wrong sub."

"You hear about these new trains that can burn any organic matter for fuel? They even run on thyme!"

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls"

"What do you call an Eskimo who's a peeping tom? Itookalook"

"[First date] okay just dont let her know you're a trump supporter Her: so what kinda wine should I get Me: haha white is always the best"

"My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him."

"It doesn't matter what kind of brain is attached. Good boobs is good boobs."

"A man stormed into my barbershop, claiming he'd gotten fleas from coming here... So I checked. Just as I suspected, it was all lice."

"When I wake up every morning, things always go well. I'm like the optimistic amputee who always starts his day off on the right foot."

"What's a 90's kid's favorite salad? Quinoa & Kale"