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Joke of the Day

"my dance moves can best be described as ""did that dude just try to leap frog?"" & ""whoa that's a lot of blood"" & ""is he still alive?"""

"If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don't have to go to work tomorrow?"

"Why did the blonde tip-toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills."

"How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom? 'ey you."

"What's the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What *the* fuck! and What *a* fuck!"

"Dominos pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens."

"I just spent fifteen minutes wondering how mermaids poop in case anyone out there is looking for a best friend or arch nemesis or something."

"You don't have to like me. I'm not a Facebook status.."

"A man called Knock Knock knocks on a door: Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? ..."

"Why do fish always sing off key? You can't tuna fish."