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Joke of the Day

"Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend either the car is new or the girlfriend is."

"Why is Italy's birth rate decreasing? Because they pull out at the last second."

"What would Economics be without assumptions? Accounting"

"I think these protesters are sending the wrong message... because they keep telling me to Love Trump's Hate."

"My favorite joke [ha ha ha](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Womens_rights)"

"Why are you breaking up with me? ""You treat your dog like a baby. It's weird"" Shh *puts hands over dog's ears* he's 26 months he understands"

"Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work."

"If there are 2 things I hate they're... Incomplete lists."

"This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job."

".one-liner here lately i.ve been feeling a void in my life; it.s probably nothing..."