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Joke of the Day

"Why are you breaking up with me? ""You treat your dog like a baby. It's weird"" Shh *puts hands over dog's ears* he's 26 months he understands"

"Mountains are not funny. They're hill-areas."

"Speaking of dogs... There's a dog with no hind legs, and bollocks made of steel. So, this dog is coming down the street. Do you know what is the name of the dog? . . . . Sparky!"

"My new years resolution is to stop biting my toenails. Nervous habit I picked up during all these meetings at work."

"Pao's reddit password leaked 123"

"Can you take a bath if you have diarrhea? Yes, if you have enough."

"Why did Captain Hook cross the road? To get to the second hand shop"

"Two condoms walk past a gay bar... One turns to the other and says 'Wanna go in there and get shit faced?'"

"Why did Waldo only wear stripes? Because he didn't want to be spotted."

"What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back."