16848

Joke of the Day

"The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch."

"During Sex Girl: Promise Me you Won't Break My Heart..., Boy: you are completely Silly Dear it's Not That Much Long"

"How are feminists and bad hacker groups similar? Both can't take down anything."

"Women, should start bragging about their size like men do. For example, I happen to be hung like a Tic-Tac."

"You have the perfect face for radio."

"What's the new etiquette rule: am I supposed to wait until everyone is done photographing their meals before I start eating mine?"

"My wife's leaving me because I'm too arrogant. I told her to close the door on her way back in."

"I've always wanted to play smooth jazz while making love... ...but apparently the bedroom is an inappropriate place for a drumkit."

"Guns don't kill people... ...bullets do."

"If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is."