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Joke of the Day

"My wife's leaving me because I'm too arrogant. I told her to close the door on her way back in."

"Girls always tell me I'm a chick magnet... ...set to repel."

"/r/jokes pretends that it has more than 1000x as many subscribers as it actually has... as a joke! http://imgur.com/wYy6m"

"I hate my step ladder for not being my real ladder."

"What game do tornadoes like to play? -Twister"

"I've decided to leave my past behind me.. So if I owed you money- I'm sorry but I've moved on."

"Hillary Clinton has been frequenting a new restaurant, reports say. I guess the main appeal of it is her own private server."

"A man is lying in a hospital bed. ""Doctor, how long do I have to live?"" asks the man. ""10,"" replies the doctor. ""10 what?"" ""9."""

"Do pigs like Backgammon? No they prefer their backs scratched."

"My son laughed at a ceiling fan for 45 minutes in case any studio execs are wondering how to reach his demographic."