18185

Joke of the Day

"Guns don't kill people... ...bullets do."

"My 3yo said Cheese is her favorite place. I don't know if I should be worried that she thinks cheese is a place or sad because it's not."

"What is Hillary Clinton's stance on Islamic State? That depends on what the definition of ISIS."

"*Brings 8 year old back to hospital nursery with receipt* This one doesn't listen anymore...Can I get a new one?"

"Roses are red Violets are blue if DNA test proves you're my sister I'll stop sleeping with you."

"It must be cold today Because I just saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets"

"Why does a montonegran man keep a chair next to his bed? So he can have a rest after he gets tired from waking up."

"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

"Why would 12:00 make the best cop? ""Hands up"""

"When it comes to volunteering on my gynecology residency, I'm the first to put my hand up."