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Joke of the Day

"My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if."

"Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice."

"Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection A fake name and fake phone number."

"What's the best part about having sex with a tranny? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"If a 4-year-old says, ""I'm scared there's a monster living under my bed"" Don't reply, ""Oh, that's where he's been hiding."" I know that now."

"I don't get why men always want have sex with women. The women are always on the receiving end."

"How does a fallopian tube take its eggs? (Ovaries Z)"

"NSFW:Guy's should hold on to their memories. Guy's should hold on to their memories. Stupid Auto Correct: I meant mammaries."

"cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you me: yeah he was not nice"

"My statistics professor told me I was average... ... I told her ""that's Mean""."