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Joke of the Day

"[Biden runs into the oval office] ""Barack, ISIS are on the phone. They want a shipment of updog. I asked what it is but they just laughed"""

"A man goes to the doctors... and says ""I think I'm a moth"" The Doctor says, ""I think you need to see a psychiatrist about that"". The man says, ""Yeah I was on my way but I saw your light was on""."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Actually, I should probably stop masturbating at this point."

"Dating is a win-win. If things go well, you eat food and fall in love. If they don't, you still eat food and that's all that really matters."

"I used to have a friend named Frank... Until one day I asked him: ""Can I be Frank with you?"" Now I no longer have a friend named Frank."

"The longest relationship I've had is with my first vibrator. We were together 7 years. Off and on."

"Don McClean's wife just surpassed American Pie as his greatest hit."

"A man started telling people he was a piece of fruit. Everyone was convinced he was bananas"

"Of course I like you, which is why I have to act like I don't like you so you'll know how much I like you."

"An Electric Field Walks up to a Dipole and asks, ""Do you have a moment?"""