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Joke of the Day

"I used to have a friend named Frank... Until one day I asked him: ""Can I be Frank with you?"" Now I no longer have a friend named Frank."

"I think the first person to see a pug was like wait why is that sweet potato snorting?"

"What do you say to a bunch of worried Trump supporters? ""Don't worry, everything is going to be alt-right."""

"We're so festive in Boston that we do the whole ""Don't drink the water"" thing the entire week of Cinco de Mayo."

"According to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, when parents relax, children must increase the amount of disorder in the universe to compensate."

"New Stephen King book! I hear that Stephen King is writing a new book dealing with the horrors of cat ownership. It's called Pffffffffft!"

"Why won't men perform oral on women the morning after sex? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Why does Hillary Clinton want to be president? She also wants to get a blow job in the oval office"

"Why did Helen Keller fail her road test? Because she was a woman"

"What happened to King Midas after he facepalm'd? He turned into Donald Trump."