78444

Joke of the Day

"Dating is a win-win. If things go well, you eat food and fall in love. If they don't, you still eat food and that's all that really matters."

"I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night... ...the handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket."

"2014: lost 10 lbs, saved $135, ate $135 worth of candy, gained 10 lbs"

"How do you make a flea circus? From scratch."

"I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories."

"How can you tell if a groom is Polish? He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... ...it doesn't last as long for fat people."

"What is the useless skin around the vagina called? The woman"

"What do you call that little white stuff on the top of bird shit? More bird shit. (Dad joke from the 70's)"

"Therapist: So what's the problem? Wife: He thinks he's a flamingo. Me: That's it! I'm putting my foot down. *lowers foot that was raised*"