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Joke of the Day

"How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it"

"Is it bad to feel the need to finish off prescription drugs before they expire? I don't have most of these ailments but they were expensive"

"Me: Let's try it have a nice weekend without any fighting, ok? Hub: Agreed Me: Wait, where are you going? Hub: Fishing. See you Monday"

"Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. No two. No... How many do we have on the truck?"

"How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar? They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years."

"I was in a bar with my wife, and a girl tried to pick us up. She succeeded, but almost immediately we were back on the floor. We like it there."

"adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane"

"It's a joke, not a dick don't take it so hard"

"Remember that guy that told us that he had no asshole? I think he's full of shit."

"How do you measure a milf? themommeter"