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Joke of the Day

"Me: Let's try it have a nice weekend without any fighting, ok? Hub: Agreed Me: Wait, where are you going? Hub: Fishing. See you Monday"

"Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it ""Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"""

"I took a bus home last night That may not be a big deal to you, but I have never reposted before."

"What does a Chicago cop say after emptying his clip into a fleeing suspect? ""Stop. Police."""

"I met a bisexual swing the other day It swung both ways."

"Did you know that AC/DC made the longest song ever? It lasted 12 albums"

"Relationship status: Sitting in Home Depot parking lot, car hood open, and asking men if they can jump me."

"First, there was Planking, then Owling and Milking, now there's Harlem Shaking. If the next trend could be Thinking, that would be great."

"I'm weird but not ""sit around the house with my shirt tucked in even though I've got no plans to leave"" weird. That stuff's 4 serial killers."

"this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this"