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Joke of the Day

"How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar? They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years."

"Wife: he has no sense of adventure. he even refuses to ride a roller coaster Therapist: go on Me: oh so you're taking her side now"

"Why is Islam called the Religion of Peace? It will leave you in pieces."

"What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get"

"I hate when people say, ""He's a nice guy once you get to know him."".....So in other words, ""He's an asshole but you'll get used to it""?"

"What is it called when Albert Einstein masturbates? A stroke of genius."

"The Never Ending Story should've been a movie about a phone call from my Mother"

"I want to give a shoutout to sidewalks For keeping me off the streets."

"What do you call a horse that's been all around the world? A globe-trotter!"

"Dear Life, I have a complete grasp on the fact that you are not fair... so please quit teaching me that lesson."