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Joke of the Day

"I always wanted to know what it felt like to blow $85k So today I stood in front of Annex Hall and asked the first art major I saw."

"I eat pudding with a fork, so no, crossword puzzles aren't really my 'thing'."

"What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill? ""Here come the elephants up over the hill!"""

"Q: Why did the blonde jump off the cliff? A: She thought her maxi pad had wings"

"I feel like I forgot something today... ...shit, *the oven!*"

"I lost my dictionary today. I can't find the words to express my dissapointment."

"Why is it the worst for Stevie Wonder when stopped by the police? He doesn't know why they're beating him to death"

"Why doesn't Meghan Trainor eat salmon? Because she's all about that bass"

"My 6yo has been rolling around on the floor for 30 mins whining for me to get her some juice cause SHE doesn't want to Go ahead. Have kids"

"[trying to talk to girl] Ha so you from around here? ""Ya"" Cool me too. I love planet earth"