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Joke of the Day

"My 6yo has been rolling around on the floor for 30 mins whining for me to get her some juice cause SHE doesn't want to Go ahead. Have kids"

"She has the body of a goddess and the face to defend it."

"In the beginning God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. - Since then neither God nor Man has rested."

"Currently the flower business is blooming."

"Space-X just used a multi-stage propellent catapult to send a small group of cattle into low-earth orbit. Its the first heard shot 'round the world."

"What's the main ingredient in mana potions? Caster sugar."

"I like my women they way I like my wine 15 years old and locked in the basement."

"Answer your phone, ""come in"" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond."

"There is a disturbing amount of product placement in my dreams."

"Sometimes people want to have full conversations really early in the morning and it's okay to kill those people."