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Joke of the Day

"What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill? ""Here come the elephants up over the hill!"""

"A Buddhist buys a hotdog and gives the vendor a $20 bill.. He takes a bite and then says ""wheres my change?"" The vendor replies ""change only comes from within"""

"Why did the guy from Brooklyn cross the road? None of your f**king business."

"[on date] ME: I like my women like I like my wine WAITER: [arrives] Anything to drink? ME: [clears throat] One glass of very hot wine please"

"What has 32 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper."

"[teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] ""Gemini's go to sleep when they are tired"" HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ME"

"I was feeling down the other day, so I threw some bleach over my Muslim friend... I thought it'd lighten Mahmood."

"What do you call an Ethiopian's birthday? A once in a lifetime opportunity."

"What do french fries and friends have in common? They both die if you chop them"

"How are a full count in baseball and a mutated 2 time convict the same? They both have 3 balls and 2 strikes."