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Joke of the Day

"Why is it the worst for Stevie Wonder when stopped by the police? He doesn't know why they're beating him to death"

"Finally got in to an exercise routine and I've lost over 100 pounds!! I'm from England, and exercise equipment is pretty expensive."

"What animal lives on the farm and says ""moo""? A bilingual chicken"

"Our family's annual tradition, as I put up the tree, everybody gathers around to watch my wife tell me I'm stringing the lights wrong."

"If Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God... Did Mary have a little lamb?"

"How do Australians have sex? They mate"

"Q: Why was the young bear so spoiled? A: Because his mother ""panda'd"" to his every whim!"

"Why did the semen cross the road? The chicken came first"

"Telling our kids we were born before the Internet is going to be the new 'I walked to school in the snow without shoes'"

"Send a text to your SO exactly this in commas ""You effect me"" (read comments after you have done so 1st) SO: Don't you mean ""affect?"" You: Yeah i forgot the A-Hole. Sincerely, JM"