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Joke of the Day
"What US state is it easiest to hide a prostitute in? H-Idaho-e"
Next Joke
"""DADDY!?!"" (toddler calling out) Me: ""Daddy's upstairs but can I help you with something?"" ""Yes. You can go get Daddy."""
"I bought myself a snail to race other snails.. I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish"
"The best part about Christmas Eve is when grandma gets drunk and tries to fight everyone."
"So women draw their eyebrows on daily, and nothing is said. I sharpie on a beard for movember and suddenly everyone has something to say."
"The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse."
"Knock knock... Who's there? Dunup Dunup who?"
"Worst idea you'll ever have is oiling your 4 year-old's squeaky bedroom door. Congratulations, you just made a ninja."
"A chicken, a hawk and a duck walk into a lawn... SuperDuck"
"Everything's gonna be ok ma'am, I've got a degree from an online college."