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Joke of the Day

"You know, you don't realise what you've got until you don't have it. I just ran out of toilet paper ..."

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the building on the other side"

"Sorry I asked if your grandparents were part of the Halloween display at your house."

"Why do black people hate country music? When they hear the word ""hoedown"" they think their sister got shot."

"At Toys ""R"" Us, Barbie and the Chuck Norris actions figures must be at least eight aisles apart by law. After all, it is a children's store."

"(nsfw) Why did God invent yeast infections? So women also will know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt."

"There was a time when I was thin. Sure I was six years old, but I'm confident I can get back in those clothes."

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex. ....my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."

"What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His shoulder. One more...what's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire. I'm so sorry"