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Joke of the Day

"When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out."

"My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?"

"My laptop has a Miley Virus. It's stopped twerking."

"What do you call the science of knives? Cutting edge technology."

"If I had a time machine I'd go back 10 years and tell myself ""Write down the names of all the people you loan stuff to."""

"""No shit, Sherlock"" ""Keep digging, Watson"""

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns... But then I realised toucan play at that game."

"Four Types of Orgasm. 1.Spiritual....""Oh God"" 2.Positive.....""Oh Yes"" 3.Negative....""Oh No"" And, 4.Fake......""Oh [insert your name here]"""

"""Cash or Debit?"" ""Did you just assume my tender?!"""

"Why can a Cheetah not hide? Because it's always spotted."