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Joke of the Day

"Why was Mark Fuch a terrible mailman? He keeps delivering to the wrong fuching address!"

"The year is 2045. Favstar Bot 32 becomes self aware and deletes our top tweets."

"A cowboy walks into a gay bar... He says to the bartender, ""I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls."" The bartender replies ""Moo?"""

"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral home it was a dead zone."

"I failed to stop a suicidal Catholic guy from blowing himself up. ""Abort, abort abort"", I shouted."

"I got stopped by a woman in the street today. She said, ""Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?"" I said, ""Yes, she's nearly 2 now."""

"How do Chinese people laugh? LMAO ZEDONG!"

"I vacuumed up a huge spiderweb & then heard a thump in the workout room. The spiders are lifting weights before they attack me aren't they?"

"After handing a girl my mixtape I asked her if she was ready for TOTAL AURAL SATISFACTION not realizing what it had sounded like."

"The butcher I worked with got behind in his work. He got his butt stuck in the meat grinder."