167288

Joke of the Day

"Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*"

"Why dont bicycles pedal backwards??? Because than it would be REcycling"

"Ok, but like, how married are you?"

"A woman walks into her doctor's office NSFW she ask's her doctor: is it possible to get pregnant from anal sex? her doctor replies: of course, how do you think lawyers are born?"

"A dyslexic walked into the bra"

"Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?"

"I'm a Renaissance Man in the sense that I'm confused and frightened by everything in 2011."

"I'm not racist, racism is a crime. And only black people commit crimes."

"The inauguration ceremony should be like the olympics. They can play the US national anthem, then the Russian one."

"Stupidity: Running over a string 10 times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, looking at it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance."