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Joke of the Day

"I bought a laser pointer, but I don't have a cat. So I 'borrowed' my neighbor's toddler, but he doesn't seem to get it. Babies are stupid."

"Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when some guys runs up and flashes them!! 2 of the old ladies had a stroke. The other one couldn't reach."

"What did the Nazi say to the clock that went tick-tick-tick? Ve have vays of making you tock..."

"The phrase ""Silence is golden"" doesn't make any sense because duct tape is silver."

"What's it called when a hippy hangs himself? Tie-die"

"What do a cab driver and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit them ...the more english you get out."

"Slash: Ok whats Paradise City like? Izzy: Pretty girls? ""Yeah!"" Axl: Nice lawns! ""Huh?"" Axl: Green grass! ""Grass is alw-"" Axl: JUST WRITE IT"

"What did the Philosophy Ph.D say to the fat black woman? Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?"

"Don't mess with me! I've got a black belt... It's brown on the other side."

"Gay people are not mean They're just fucking assholes."