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Joke of the Day

"I bought a laser pointer, but I don't have a cat. So I 'borrowed' my neighbor's toddler, but he doesn't seem to get it. Babies are stupid."

"How do you make a cat go woof Throw it in a fire (i know i know dad joke)"

"I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high She told me she's tired of my repost BS and divorced me. It was definitely a surprise."

"It's pancake day already? That sure creped up fast."

"How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren? Just the First Order."

"what do exorcists and alcoholics have in common? They both treat their demons with spirits!"

"*about to rob a bank* ""Okay, lets do this. Everybody, grab a gun"" i dont need one ""why not"" i already have two *kisses biceps*"

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About halfway."

"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."

"What's the capital of Greece? 20 euros"