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Joke of the Day

"Gay people are not mean They're just fucking assholes."

"Woozy woman comes up ""OMG I'm-I'm gonna faint!"" ""Go ahead, knock yourself out"""

"When I call out the wrong name during sex, I just segue into singing Mambo No. 5."

"Attention Girl: Why do you look so sad? Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint?"

"[maid of honor speech] Never thought this day would come! Remember when you came home early & he was wearing your bra & panties [mom faints]"

"I now pronounce you slowly and phonetically."

"What is the best part about showering with a 14 year old girl? If you slick her hair back just right, she looks nine!"

"Daughter: Daddy, why do I have to go to bed so early? Me: Because we have had enough of you for today"

"""I will love you forever or until I cum"" MEN"

"What's the worst part about being gay? Making love is a real pain in the ass."