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Joke of the Day

"I've been on my computer all night! Don't you think you'd be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?"

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"My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is getting better"
"A wise meteorologist once told me... Dress for the weather you want, not the weather you have."
"What do public toilets and homeless shelters have in common? They're both full of bums"
"How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram!"
"Can't believe that it's been over a hundred years since Einstein proposed his theory of relativity. Feels like it was only yesterday..."
"Finally! A joke on here you've never heard before! That's the joke. Edit: Apparently you've heard this before. [New Punch Line] (http://i.imgur.com/rQvpv5h.jpg)"
"I broke my arm in a couple places; know what the doctor said? ""Stay out of those places!"""
"Why did the scarecrow receive an award? ...because he was out standing in his field."
"How do you spell anarchy? Any way you fucking want."