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Joke of the Day

"I have tits. You will believe my lies."

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"Despite having no nominations this year, I'm certain that black folks will clean up at The Oscars."
"I'm sorry CO2, but I'm leaving you you're suffocating me!"
"When I take pictures of cheese I yell ""SAY HUMANS!"" and me and the cheese laugh and laugh and then I binge eat and cry."
"I don't understand... ...how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and yet my wife can have 152 just for our house."
"Which of our meaty friends are into astrology? Those that are born under the sign of the Ham!"
"I think Sarah Jessica Parker quit the church when the minister giggled & said, ""Let us bray."""
"So Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Do you want a beer?"" Descartes responds, ""I think not!"" poof. he disappeared"
"A Hispanic photon walks into a bar No mas"
"What is the difference between a straight man's mustache and a gay man's mustache? The smell."