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Joke of the Day
"You guys wanna hear a joke? Ellen Pao"
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"No matter how many times I see it, I never tire of an Italian woman yelling at a guy named Anthony in public."
"I wish that my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply"
"*walks into Kinko's* YO I NEED A CAT SCAN ""I'm sorry sir, we don't--"" *opens bag & removes a terrified cat* I ONLY NEED ONE COPY. IN COLOR."
"Why are there no podiatrist generals? Because all they know is de feet"
"Why did it take three burly Boy Scouts to help the old lady across the street? Because she didn't want to go."
"What's the point of Jewish football? To get the quarter back."
"Thank you for saying, ""I'm just being honest"" after that horrible thing you just said. I feel better now that I know you meant it."
"I find it Hillaryous that the presidential candidates this year are so horrible. I wonder if either of them will pull out their Trump card to guarantee that win though."
"I never feel as much panic as I do when the cashier asks me if I have their member card yet."