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Joke of the Day

"Apparently a guy named George Martin leaked all the main plot points of the next season of Game of Thrones in some books he published. Jerk."

"If a quiz is quizzicle, then what is a test?"

"How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar? They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years."

"Do you know how our planet got it's name? Cause if you do, please tellus"

"This milk's brand name is ""Organic Valley."" I can't drink it. Too grossed out picturing livers, spleens and pancreases sitting in a valley."

"Did you hear about the husband... ..who loved his wife so much he almost told her?"

"Why do hipsters prefer to drink their PBR warm? So that they can say they liked it before it was cool."

"I won $3 million on lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity Now I have $2,999,999.75"

"Kim Jong Un Wins World Series Our dear leader has thrown a 27-pitch perfect game to win the World Series. He is such a beautiful pitcher, he makes every batter pop up as soon as they see him."

"My friends daughter just recently turned 9 years old and has started asking him those embarrassing questions about sex. Hell, just this morning she asked him ""is that the best you can do?"""