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Joke of the Day

"[Oldie but goodie] The three stages of a married couple's sex life Tri weekly, try weekly and try weakly."

"Ugh your paleontologist friend is coming? He's so boring! Don't worry, I have a plan to keep him distracted *pulls out seven layer dip*"

"What's the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What *the* fuck! and What *a* fuck!"

"Every night it sounds like my neighbors take turns at running headfirst into their walls"

"I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, ""Should I help?"" Then I thought, ""No...6 should be enough."""

"It was a rude awakening when I woke up and realized all my favorite porn stars were at least 4 years younger than me. Turning 16 sucked. =/"

"My dream girl is basically a pizza in a mini skirt."

"A man asks his wife... Husband: ""Honey, how come you never shout my name when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""Because you're never there."""

"Going down on your cousin is like N/A beer.... Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't fucking right."

"I organized a threesome last night There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time."