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Joke of the Day

"The PC term for Christmas C:\hristmas"

"English is weird.. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Edit: R.I.P My inbox"

"Pretty sure that ""Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory"" is the kid's version of ""Saw""."

"What word starts with F and ends in uck? Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck."

"Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive? Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See? It works doesn't it?"

"I just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen."

"Women are like Hurricanes They come into your life wild and free and then leave with the PATIO FURNITURE WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH YOU BITCH"

"Did you hear about the skinny guy that visited Alaska? I guess he came back a husky fucker."

"If Trump is so bad why does he visit a homeless shelter every day? [someone whispers in my ear] I am now being told it's to taunt them"

"A doctor, a lawyer, a priest, a rabbi, and a nun all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says ""What is this? A Joke?"""