127067

Joke of the Day

"If Trump is so bad why does he visit a homeless shelter every day? [someone whispers in my ear] I am now being told it's to taunt them"

"What's the difference between shaving a red head's pubes and diffusing a bomb? When you diffuse a bomb, you only have to cut one red wire."

"Why are my jokes strikingly similar to your sperm? They're killed almost instantly by assholes."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side."

"[hospital] ""I'm afraid it's bad news. Your husband will never walk again"" ""Oh God, he's paralysed?"" ""No, someone's bought him rollerblades"""

"Why can't muslims eat pigs? Because the Quran forbids cannibalism"

"A horse walks into a a bar The bartender says ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies ""My alcoholism is destroying my family"" I'm here all week folks"

"How can you smuggle 500 Jews across the border in one car? In an ash tray"

"How are the Houston Rockets just like Metapod? All they've got is Harden"

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? denimdenimdenim"