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Joke of the Day

"I just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen."

"I prayed to God for a handbag and he gave it to me It's a blessing and a purse."

"Does anyone have any good Tokyo Ghoul puns? I would love if someone would comment some Tokyo Ghoul jokes/puns! Or Attack on Titan... Thx!"

"What do you call a pothead that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless"

"I got expelled from school on pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"George Carlin:""Why do laxatives always say 'Works gently, overnight'?"" ""What if I want something that works violently right now?"""

"A joke my six year old nephew told at dinner tonight. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!"

"is there a sadder metaphor of ur adulthood destroying ur childhood than the fact that to get to work evryday u hav to burn up dead dinosaurs"

"Me: Ugh. Something I ate this morning didn't agree with me. [Inside my stomach] Chicken Quesadilla: ""The Notebook"" was an overrated film."

"They say in California alone, the divorce rate is at 75%. Twenty minutes later, a woman walks by with a stroller and a barking dog in it.... Perhaps."