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Joke of the Day

"A doctor, a lawyer, a priest, a rabbi, and a nun all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says ""What is this? A Joke?"""

"What do you call a psychic midget that just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"ME: I need help losing weight. I've tried everything. NARRATOR: He hadn't tried anything at all. Nothing."

"[during ultrasound] wife: I really thought you were the father me: how could you do this to me? wife's grey and black lover: I told y'all"

"Where's the best place to go if you want a little head? The 2016 Olympics."

"What does the 'B' in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B. Mandelbrot"

"Hey do you know Deanda? Deanda dis dick!!! HA! Got EEEM!"

"I treat my television in the same way that I treat my girlfriends. I abandon them and subscribe to Netflix"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cronkite ! Cronkite who ? Cronkite evidence !"

"I used to date a chick liked it when I made her angry while we were in bed. She was into hardcore scorn."