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Joke of the Day

"What was the working title for 10 Cloverfield Lane? ""You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."""

"Exercise never hurt anyone... ... unless you run marathons. (Braces for downvotes)"

"I get that preschoolers go to bed early but it's still weird that Nick Jr becomes a hardcore porn channel every night at 8."

"My bitch of a Grandma just made me cookies with Raisins in them."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Dismembered"

"Don't you just hate it when you meet a hot girl, you look her up on Facebook and find there are fucking 150 + mutual friends and nobody told you about her. Thanks a lot assholes."

"I went to a dinner party for anorexics. There was an all-you-can't-eat buffet."

"My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician"

"I like my women like I like my wine... 7 years old and locked up in a cellar"

"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"