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Joke of the Day

"What was the working title for 10 Cloverfield Lane? ""You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."""

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"Exercise never hurt anyone... ... unless you run marathons. (Braces for downvotes)"
"I get that preschoolers go to bed early but it's still weird that Nick Jr becomes a hardcore porn channel every night at 8."
"My bitch of a Grandma just made me cookies with Raisins in them."
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Dismembered"
"Don't you just hate it when you meet a hot girl, you look her up on Facebook and find there are fucking 150 + mutual friends and nobody told you about her. Thanks a lot assholes."
"I went to a dinner party for anorexics. There was an all-you-can't-eat buffet."
"My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician"
"I like my women like I like my wine... 7 years old and locked up in a cellar"
"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"