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Joke of the Day

"I get that preschoolers go to bed early but it's still weird that Nick Jr becomes a hardcore porn channel every night at 8."

"[NSFW] What do snakes and condoms have in common? I don't fuck with either of them."

"Had to get up at 8 o'clock to work. That's 8 in the MORNING. Like a fucking farmer or something."

"My girlfriend might be a bit clingy, but she sure is going places... Like home. Go home."

"Why are there no black people in the game Clue? Because then, it would be called Solved."

"[cat support technician] Me: So you're here to fix my computer? Cat: *nods* Me: Great, here it is. Cat: *lays on keyboard & falls asleep*"

"Want to hear a pizza joke? It's pretty cheesy."

"What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA."

"Me: What are the lyrics to every 80s sitcom I've ever seen Brain: Coming right up Me: Remember to pay that bill Brain: Nope"

"An asshole What do you call a person who reads the punchline before the joke?"