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Joke of the Day

"I went to a dinner party for anorexics. There was an all-you-can't-eat buffet."

"Oh, non-habit forming? No thanks."

"Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2? Because he said he was pro Bono."

"[Scientist describing evolution of the zebra] ""We believe they were crime horses that stayed in jail for like a really, really long time."""

"I was gonna make a pun... But the stress of making them is unbearable."

"If contraception is birth control... ... abortion is birth control-alt-delete."

"An alien, a predator and a terminator walk into a bar... and then... I've got nothing. Someone finish the joke!"

"We live in a society that's the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones."

"I'm suing samsung. I bought a Fucking Note 7 for my wife and it stil didn't explode."

"What did the man say when he put his package into a mailbox? ""I thought it was a female box"""