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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my wine... 7 years old and locked up in a cellar"

"I'm extending the weekend one MORE day for everyone. I talked to your boss, (s)he said no problem as long as you dress slutty on wed."

"You mail one pig fetus with a note saying ""I'm oinkers for you!"" attached, and suddenly you're 'psycho'. Whatever."

"A boring joke I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"Why can't I think of a word that means something really good or really bad depending on how you use it in a sentence? Fuck!"

"What do you call a picture of Simon Pegg's brother? JPEG"

"My friends are starting to figure out that I got Botox in my forehead because I can't raise my eyebrows. Why am I not surprised?"

"Did you hear the one about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Lion Tamer Barbie ...lion is included; Barbie's head is not"

"Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly."