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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump on not repeating himself at last nights debate: ""I do not repeat myself! I do not repeat myself!"" Funny, cause its true."

"My favorite mixed drink is the M. Night Shyamalan. It's nothing with a twist."

"Sleeping thoughts Sometimes when I go to sleep I like to look at the stars and just think... what the hell happened to my roof!?"

"Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito."

"My Grandads motto was ""Never give up"".... He died of lung cancer"

"Me: I've lost my kitten Cop: How would you best describe him? Me: He looks like a miniature cat"

"Bernie Sanders said it's time for him to cut the BS His new name is Ernie Anders"

"Useless People One useless person is useless. Two useless people are a law firm. Hundreds of useless people are Congress."

"I have a Victoria's Secret model's body!! (in my basement)"

"What do you call a Mexican Gummy Bear? Delici**OSO**!"