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Joke of the Day

"Sleeping thoughts Sometimes when I go to sleep I like to look at the stars and just think... what the hell happened to my roof!?"

"Knock, knock Who's there? Cecile. Cecile who? Cecile the d-door! There's a m-monster outs-s-side!"

"Why should we make Gabe Newell president? There won't be any World War 3. \#gaben2k16"

"I like my chairs the way I like my women Quiet and conforming to my body"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? (dirty) The Rooster. ( )"

"If stupidity was a crime... Sarah Palin would be public enemy #1"

"I love walking around the house naked. Damn neighbors keep complaining. They think I should do it in the house."

"I saw an ad on craigslist for a mama sheep, a ram, and a cat fetus all for sale for only five dollars. I said to myself, ""Ewe goat to-be kitten!"""

"The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday."

"Its ironic that the gay club was called ""pulse""... As 50 people didn't have one after the shooting"