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Joke of the Day

"I went on a date last night with Hellen Keller. I'll never go on a blind date again."

"A British man visits Australia. The customs officer asks ""Do you have a previous criminal history?"" The visitor replies ""I didn't realize that was still a requirement"""

"I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see."

"Me: You say all the right things. Her: I didn't say anything. Me: Shhh Don't ruin this for me."

"(sure hope reddit doesn't hate racist jokes) What's the difference between a Jew and a dollar? I'd miss six million dollars!"

"All the Geology majors at my university smoke a lot weed. I guess you could say that they're all a bunch of stoners."

"Why isn't Edward leaving Russia? ...because he's snowed in."

"Where does a homeless accountant live? In a tax shelter."

"I like my coffee like I like my wife... cold and bitter."

"Coldplay have been arrested. They played ""Clocks""."