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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Mexican Gummy Bear? Delici**OSO**!"

"Your calculator will be there for you tomorrow... You can count on it."

"School in US would be 10 times easier if we use metric system, 12 times harder if we don't."

"I've just started work as a human chess piece. The money's good, I'm on knights this week."

"Me: I must warn you, I'm like an animal in bed. Her: That's fine by me! *burrows under the covers and falls asleep at the foot of the bed*"

"My Christmas tree is on a timer It lights up everyday at 4:20"

"""Hey, I can see my house from here!"" - homeless people, almost all the time"

"What do you call it when Shatner takes a shit? Tek War"

"I just saw a guy wearing uggs get arrested. Not sure what for, but I'm hoping it was because he was wearing uggs"

"""Sorry, I don't date block guys.""- racist lego woman."