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Joke of the Day

"""I got you this for Valentine's Day."" [she opens the box and reveals several People magazines inside] ""I think we should see other people."""

"I'm no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose ""baby weight"" is to have the baby."

"What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The other is a great year."

"What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand? They think long and hard before they touch weiner."

"What do you call a felon who enjoys getting zapped and has a go-to attitude? A con-do-it!"

"my glass eye is freaking you out? sorry I didn't real eyes."

"I called in to work and asked my boss what the difference between work and his daughter was. I'm not coming into work this morning."

"What do you get when you throw a Pokeball at a Pakistani? A Pakimon."

"I was sitting in the traffic the other day That's why i got run over."

"How do you get a blonde pregnant? Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest."